Mar 152012

Today is Bash-a-Bolt day. It is, after all, the Ides of March.  bolt

Now, for the record, I do not make a habit of reading Andrew Bolt, in fact, the complete opposite. I find the man to be a human dog whistle and intellectually offensive. But, he does make himself a prominent target and I am at a loose end thus far today. Let’s take issue with his lunacy, shall we?

Who Do We Believe?

This is a non-event and Bolt’s efforts at making it into a silk purse don’t detract from its status as a sow’s ear. Gonski was asked to report to government on the Future Fund’s Board of Guardians recommendations re: a replacement Chairman of the Future Fund board. He reported that the board recommended an ‘insider’ be appointed with recommendations that ‘insider’ ought to be Peter Costello. Groovy! Costello, as we remember, was appointed by Kevin Rudd. His business & industry rep is??? His kudos as a finance industry authority is??? Exactly! Let us also recall that Kevin Rudd is no longer PM. The ‘style’ of the current PM is to NOT appoint ideological enemies to positions of responsibility. So what? That’s a political reality. That David Gonski found himself appointed doesn’t ipso facto mean he’s a government ‘friend’. It does indicate that government decided he was better suited that those he supposedly either recommended or implied the board recommended. We’ll never know because the correspondence isn’t public domain. Final Analysis? Bolt is pissing into the wind, again.

Down-Trodden Country Folk?

Another classic Boltish tilt at the ABC windmill. Q & A on Monday night had a panel consisting of Mick Gooda, Tanya Plibersek, Malcolm Turnbull, Clementine Ford and ‘2009 Farmer of the Year’ Michael O’Brien. I for one would hardly classify Gooda or Plibersek as ‘Cultural Elite’ and neither I suspect would they. Turnbull? Weeeell……and Clementine Ford? Until Monday night I’d never heard of her. Mind you, I thought she spoke well. Farmer O’Brien though appeared ill at ease in front of the cameras. His responses to many questions were somewhat archaic and even ill-informed, especially in regard to the science of Climate Change, which he referred to as ‘the weather’. The two concepts are entirely different, something even Bolt will admit to. Let us all agree that public forums can be intimidating, especially when one’s views run counter to the majority. Some people carry themselves off in such environments exceedingly well, but Farmer O’Brien clearly isn’t one of those people. That’s his personality type and no reflection whatsoever on those of his panel companions or indeed, on Tony Jones. Certainly nothing to do with the ABC, save for a poor choice of panel member. Yet more pissing into the wind from Bolt.

Why is Stephen Smith so unpopular?

Stephen Smith is Defence Minister. I’m not privy to the selection criteria for that role, but I dare say it doesn’t include ‘Winner of a Popularity Contest’ or ‘People Person of the Year’. It’s common knowledge that defence likes being a law unto itself and has caused management issues with a broad range of political masters from both sides of the divide. To claim that Jim Molan has any right to criticise, let alone any influence on the job Smith does as Minister is plainly laughable. Such interference from OUTSIDE of the department by former members of the military is, however, indicative of the untouchable culture which pervades the military and it’s admin structure. Still, if Bolt wants to fill in his column space with windblown urinary splashes, who am I to deny him the opportunity of feeling warm in his dark suit?

Bob Katter – Bigot

As much as it pains me to write this, I’m in total agreement with Bolt on this issue. He’s the perfect person to comment on public offense & bigotry. I’ll happily cop a light spray of his waste water on this issue.

Craig Thomson

Can I simply say…..*YAWN*. Is there something untoward going on here? No-body knows. That means NO-BODY, other than those inside FWA actually involved in the investigation. I would imagine that given the size of that bureaucracy if anything untoward were happening, such as government interference in the investigatory process, we’d have heard about it by now courtesy of someone who was offended by being tarred with working for FWA, and all the confected slagging that’s been happening for so long. Yes, three years is an extraordinarily long time to investigate the usage of a corporate credit card account. As I see it, there’s either a shitload of corruption in the HSU which hasn’t conclusively been nailed down yet, or there’s absolutely nothing awry and FWA are searching through the belly-button lint of everyone even remotely associated with the union in order to categorically disclaim the accusations being made. Either way, speculation, name-calling and false accusation aren’t proving anything either way. Other than the fact that those doing so obviously have a loaded ideological barrow in front of them. Having retired to the back of the boat, I’ll leave Bolt at the prow to continue his urination.

Who’d believe Julia Gillard?

Well, frankly, who’d believe Andrew Bolt? Come on Andrew, if you have anything real by way of a transcripted conversation with Tony Abbott, or Julia Gillard for that matter, which bears out a rationale for your far-right conservative hatred of the government, and unblinking allegiance to a man who deliberately and wilfully calls ‘NO’ to anything government wants to do, on the basis of some misdirected feeling of disappointment driven by his own feckless attempts at power negotiation, then for goodness sake produce it. Don’t simply fill column space with your own brand of disappointment-filled angst. Do some hard analysis for once in your incontinent existence. Surely man, you cannot spend your entire life directing a stream of ideological urine into the howling gale of public disinterest?

What about Media Watch?

Aaaah, the dreaded Media Watch. Of course, this is a consolation tilt at Auntie, but also at Jonathon Holmes et al who dare to challenge the unfettered right of the Main-Stream media to slag-off, plagarise and otherwise obfuscate whatever they damn well please, about whom-ever they damn well please. So, why does Media Watch ‘go after’ Jennifer Marohasy? Simple. She pretends to represent the denial clan in regard to Climate Change, which every rational science-reading person on the planet acknowledges as being real and exacerbated by humanity. As to who pays her? Why shouldn’t we, who get exposed to this denialist lunacy, be told exactly who’s vested interests she takes the coin of. After all, we ALREADY KNOW, Andrew Bolt, who employs the services of Tim Flannery. We do! Of course, where does Bolt pirate that whine from, but the overtly radical right-wing whinge tome which purports to discuss matters economic, Catallaxy Files. Jason too-bloody Soon, et al. Don’t bother going there, they don’t like visitors from other ideological mindsets who may have ideas worthy of discussion. Still pissing Andrew? That’s a good lad, get it all out.

Clive Palmer? Why bother?

Because he can. Palmer that is. The billionaire who has never paid tax as the rest of us pay tax. The billionaire whose self-declared hobby is litigation. Of course, Bolt adores his kind because Palmer is opposing something Bolt refuses to accept the science of, and anyway, such litigation is a direct challenge to a governmental ideology he can’t stand a bar of. ‘nuff said. Nothing to see here, so move along. Only some fool at the prow of the Good Ship “Idiocy” relieving himself into a howling gale.

Fat Houses?

If anyone can figure out what this snippet is all about, let me know, would you. Thanks so much. Andrew! Don’t turn around while you’re pissing!

Kony Who?

Whoops, looks like the Bolt bladder is running low, he’s branched off into internet sourced irrelevancies. Pelvic floor, Andrew! Exercise it!

Please Read Me?

Evidence the paywall is interfering with Andrew’s flying monkey troop. Tsk! Tsk!

Much ado about nothing?

Squeeze that sphincter, Andrew. Tuck away that weiner before you’re done & you’ll wind up with wet pa…..oh, too late for that anyway. Carry on!

Bolt Gone-ski?

And on that note, we’ve arrived at the beginning again, with Bolt making valiant attempts to justify his initial spray by claiming Peter Costello is far & away a better Future Fund chairman candidate than David Gonski any day of the week because………… *drum roll* he was once upon-a-time a Treasurer in a government which sold off public assets as fast as it could in order to create the myth of budgetary surpluses as a political nirvana. Oh, that and the other chaps who act as ‘guardians’ of said fund think he’s a great bloke. Never mind that Costello has zero business cred, economic background or corporate responsibilities and past experience. So ends the Bolt urine stream.  bolt_compo

You may rest assured, dear reader, that I won’t be reading Bolt again for a very, very long time. Reading about Andrew Bolt’s  bladder exercises has proven to be akin to believing water from a Revigator will cure all bodily ills. It’s all crap, no basis in fact whatsoever and will doubtless result in uncontrolled pissing, usually into a strong head wind.

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